Return to Vietnam

The primary mission was deeply personal: to find an orphanage and return to the ground that held tragedy, guilt, and buried memories. Decades earlier, two children whom Stan loved as his own were killed during an enemy attack — children he had ultimately tried to save from unspeakable suffering. That burden followed him for more than 50 years.

The journey took them across Vietnam — meeting a former Viet Cong soldier, touring the tunnels used during the war, and visiting sites that documented the conflict, often through a political lens. Yet the true goal was emotional: tracking down the orphanage through crumbling churches, dead ends, and fading memories, and confronting trauma Stan had suppressed for decades. After countless setbacks, on November 11, 2019 — Veterans Day weekend — they located a convent next to where the orphanage once stood. The original orphanage had been destroyed in 1974 and rebuilt in 1978.

There, Stan met Sister Renee, one of the last surviving nuns from the Vietnam War era. Over two days of conversation, Stan shared the events of 1967 — including the moment he discovered that two children had been used as weapons by the Viet Cong. Faced with an impossible choice, Stan acted to end their suffering, a decision that haunted him for decades and shaped his life profoundly. Through this return to Vietnam, Stan began a true healing process. In a simple prayer with Sister Renee, he experienced forgiveness — a moment he describes as having an enormous weight lifted from his shoulders. While the memories remain, the nightmares no longer hold the same power. Return to Vietnam is a story of war, guilt, faith, and redemption — and the long road toward peace after a lifetime of trauma.